Privilege


Dear Parliament of the Union of Suparlia,

If you don't mind, may I ask you a question? Wouldn't it do the nation and the people of Suparlia a whole lot of good if you concentrated on making laws (for instance, discussing and debating the provisions of a recently agreed-upon bill) rather than wasting time bringing in privilege motions against some poor souls who just vented their frustration?

OOPS … Oh no … Uh oh .. wait .. I'm extremely sorry. I profusely apologize for insulting your holy institution – the Parliament, by asking this question. I am so very very really really SORRY. I shouldn't have uttered these words .. they are blasphemous. How dare I, an ordinary citizen, ask such a question of you, the very reigning deities of our great country?

This is equivalent to insulting Suparlia herself. In fact, this act is more shameful than insulting the Suparlia flag, insulting the Suparlia national anthem, and looting, plundering and raping the entire nation – all put together. I once again repeat – I tender an unconditional apology for bringing your virtuous shrine to disrepute.

To prove just how deep my remorse is regarding my outburst against you, I shall:
  • Start a campaign to educate the people of the country about the sanctity of the Parliament and Parliamentarians.
  • Call for the entire monsoon session of Parliament to only look for cases across the country where the righteousness of the Parliament has been brought into question, and to act on each of them in turn.
  • Lobby for bringing in a bill that makes it mandatory for the Parliament to set aside an hour every day to bask in its own glory.
  • Mobilise the public to such an extent that they demand setting aside 5% of the annual Union Budget just to bring to book, anyone who dares to challenge the supremacy of the Parliament.

Whatever you do, please please pretty please spare me. I beg you to not bring a privilege motion against me. I am just an ordinary citizen and I did not mean whatever I said. I should never have asked that question. I withdraw my question in word and spirit. I consider it my privilege to prostrate myself in front of the supra-consecrated Parliament of Suparlia.

Yours Sincerely,
A meek, unprivileged Citizen of Suparlia.

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