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Update: This post has been BlogBharti'ed
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Its 2050 A.D. The Indian Parliamentary elections are just round the corner. All political parties are immersed in hectic preparations for the polls.
Over at Amethi, the capital of the Targetary Republic of India, leaders of several smaller regional parties have come together for a meeting. The agenda is to discuss pre-poll alliances. These parties do not want to be part of the 2 big alliances: NDA (National Destructive Alliance) or UPA (Unbelievably Pathetic Alliance). They do not even want to be part of the 3rd Front. Hence, they are coming together to form the Four-and-a-Half-th Back (4.5B).
Leader of the CPI (Chinese Party of India) – the largest party in the 4.5FB alliance, Mr. TomDick Harry announced the formation of this alliance in a press statement today:
“Initially, our party wanted to join the Third-and-a-Quarterth Direction-less (3Q-D). This is mainly because this front is dominated by the Right-wing parties, and we used to believe in their ideology.
However, as can be seen from recent developments, the Rights just wanted to get up-Front and they were not willing to have a dialogue to address our points of view. So during our recent party High Command meeting, we passed a resolution to disassociate ourselves from the 3Q-D.
That left us with the Left parties and their alliance – Nothing's Left (NL). However, we do not subscribe to their views at all. Finally, we decided to leave the Left Back, and jumped into the Centre with our own alliance.
4.5B is undoubtedly the future of India. We believe in all-Round backwardness. We aim to make every backward person/caste/section/religion/occupation even more backward – so much so that in 4.5 years, we aim to achieve our goal of having only one non-backward person out of every 4.5 people in India. Hence the name 4.5B.”
It remains to be seen how well this alliance is perceived by the public. All eyes are now on the MangoRepublic (also known as aam aadmi) citizen forum to react to this latest pre-poll alliance.
Watch this space for continuous updates leading right up to the D-Day.
This is the snippet of an email which I received from Google in response to my application for Google AdSense . This is the second time this is happening. The first time, I thought it might be because my blog was on a sub-domain. The second rejection shows this is not the case. **************** Hello Kiran,
Thank you for your interest in Google AdSense. Unfortunately, after reviewing your application, we're unable to accept you into Google AdSense at this time.
We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below.
Issues:
- Unacceptable site content
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Further detail:
Unacceptable site content: In order to participate in Google AdSense, publishers' websites and application information must satisfy the following guidelines:
*Your site must have been active for at least 6 months before you apply for AdSense. *You must provide accurate personal information with your application that matches the information on your page. *Your website must contain substantial, original content. *Your site must comply with Google AdSense program policies: https://www.google.com/adsense/support/bin/answer.py?answer=48182 which include Google's webmaster quality guidelines: http://www.google.com/support/webmasters/bin/answer.py?answer=35769#quality.
If your site satisfies the above criteria in the future, please resubmit your application and we'll review it as soon as possible.
... ...
For a complete list of AdSense criteria, please visit: https://www.google.com/adsense/policies?hl=en_US https://www.google.com/adsense/localized-terms?hl=en_US ****************
Unacceptable Content??? Could somebody please point me to "unacceptable content" on this blog? I'd be grateful to you.
I did get a hint - but I rejected the thought. The last time my application had been rejected, the latest post had been the book review of Frontline Pakistan. One point I had made in that post was my opinion that US (rather - the US-Russia cold war) had been a reason for instability in the Indian Sub-continent. Now could that have anything to do with this whole rejection matter?
Frankly, I don't think so. I would be very surprised and even more disappointed if it did. There has to be some other reason. All I have to do is - find it!
This post takes over from where this one had left off. I just had to present two more instances which troubled me a lot.
Instance 1 A fine morning a few months back. The place is a traffic signal on Cubbon Road in Bangalore. As usual, most motorists have switched off their engines since it is a long wait. Thats when the two children seize their opportunity. The older girl must be about 12 years old, the younger boy being around 10.
Off they jump, from the median, onto the road. And, start show casing their acrobatic skills! Jumping, bouncing, body-bending, flipping over several times – these two kids definitely belong to a good circus – not a traffic signal. They have the attention of everyone waiting at the signal. After performing some some really good stunts, they go around the vehicles, collecting money from whoever is ready to “pay up”.
Questions Two: If the answer to question One is that this is not begging – the children are actually working for what they earn; then – where does that leave me – the “audience”? These children were regulars at that signal for about 2-3 weeks. So, How much and often do I pay them? Where is this heading and what does the future hold?
Instance 2 Today. I am driving home and at 10 pm, I stop and switch off the car at another traffic junction on Cubbon Road. This time, I see two women doing the rounds begging. One has an infant in her arms – the sight of which was sufficient to make me forget my principles in this regard (I am against begging – it does not serve any purpose – blah blah).
But the sight of the other woman saddened me even further. She was pregnant and her bare tummy protruded from the ill-fitting dress she was wearing. Further, I could clearly see from her expression and stance that she had absolutely no energy and she looked like she would collapse any moment. God knows how long it had been since she had eaten! I beckoned to her and handed her a 10-rupee note.
Question: Well, I am too confused about this incident to even pose a proper question! I know that giving alms to this lady was out of pity and it was well-justified – but it did not serve a meaningful purpose. I had thought short-term.
But maybe the question is (again) – where is this heading? One pregnant woman got something to eat today – but what about the million others out there in the slums and on the streets and footpath of India? What is their fate?
To conclude – I should blame myself for I only give these things a thought when they occur – maybe a day or two more. Then, its all locked up in some obscure corner of my brain until the next such moving incident occurs! I think I need to be more compassionate – especially when the miseries of fellow human beings right in front of my eyes are concerned.
**************** I recommend these excellent posts on this topic for further reading:
Brothers in Alms – by Chandra Cray Biscuit Lady – at YOnEarthNot
Well, after procrastinating for a long time, this blog has finally moved from rented property to its own residence! You might have already observed the new URL - http://www.hopehorizons.in/. This is the domain name which I purchased recently (I had made up my mind to do this after attending the IndiBloggers meet last month). I also took the opportunity to feedburn my blog feeds.
But wait! What does it mean to you, the (returning) reader? Well nothing actually! For, The old URL (and any bookmarks that might be pointing to it or any post within it) will still continue to work. The old Atom feed URL will still continue to work (or at least, thats what I think)
However, I would still request you to Start using the new URL (if it is not too much of a bother to you :D) Edit your feed subscription to point to the new FeedBurner URL Most importantly - if you are not exactly feed-savvy, and have been missing out on my posts, you can now subscribe to posts by email! All you have to do is, enter your email in the “Get New Posts Via Email” widget provided in the left panel.
Wish me Happy Blogging!
Update: This article has been cross-posted at DesiCritics
Update 2: This article has been published at YouthKiAwaaz. Update 3: This post has been recognized as the Best Book Review Post at Avantgarde Bloggies Award 2009.
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“Bitter Chocolate” is a book which is sure to shock the reader at every each and every page flip. The book deals with Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) in India. Through this book, the author Pinki Virani shatters every myth regarding CSA, and jolts the reader out of complacency regarding the issue. She explains the effects of such abuse on the child, and proceeds to offer suggestions – for prevention, as well as to deal with abuse. This book considers as CSA, cases where the abuser is more than sixteen years of age, and the abused is less than sixteen.
"Bitter Chocolate" is split up into three “notebooks”.
**************** Notebook 1 starts off with an account of the author's own childhood experience. It then touches upon scores of instances of CSA from all across the country, cutting across social strata (both of the victim and the perpetrator) and age of the victim. There are some instances where the abused is too young to even know she has been abused! Some of the accounts were disgusting enough to make me question the very notion of “humanity”. Sample this: A lot of cases of CSA occur within the house of the child, at the hands of a person known to the child. Boys are the target of the abusers too – and we are not talking of a one-off case here. Far more little boys are sodomized than one can imagine. There have been cases of women being perpetrators (although this forms a small percentage) Only a negligible minority of the perpetrators are actually “suffering” and need “treatment” (referring to paedophilia – which is an excuse often used by child abusers to get away). Yes, the driver, liftman, security guard at school might be looked at suspiciously, and the child might be warned to be cautious of such people. But what if the abuser is a person who, ostensibly, is supposed to protect the child? What if the child is violated by uncles, teachers, grandfathers, older cousins, family friends, even brothers and most shocking of all – fathers? This is not all that rare – as Pinki details out in the book. People who are gentle, caring and smiling by day – turn predators when they find themselves alone with the child. The sickest of all factors mentioned in the previous point is that the child is often abused by the very person who the child is totally dependent on! Thats the irony. In many cases, the abuse does come to the notice of the family members of the child – but they often do nothing about it. Reason? Our twisted notion of the “Khaandaani Izzat” measured solely by the “purity” of its girl child. The boy victim is luckier in this respect, as the family's izzat does not rest on his shoulders, and it is more probable that something will be done about it when his case comes to light. In a vast majority of the cases, the victim feels guilty that (s)he was responsible for what happened. And family/society does nothing to dispel this guilt. How blood-boilingly-repulsive is that? Child prostitution and child pornography are more widespread that one might be led to believe.
This list is just an indication of what to expect from the book. It is difficult to control oneself while reading some of the examples – I often found myself closing the book in disgust or choking or wiping a tear from my eye.
**************** Notebook 2 undertakes a long-term study of a couple of real-life stories, thereby examining the effects of CSA on a victim. It explains the short-term and long-term effects of CSA, and how it has the potential to destroy a person's life – forever. Some of the effects mentioned include: Physical scars and emotional insecurity (these short-term effects are pretty obvious) Confused sexuality, promiscuous behaviour on part of the victim (this is a long-term effect where the victim might experiment with homosexuality/multiple partners in an attempt to “erase” the memory of the abuse). Problems in family life, including emotional and sexual problems Most destructive of all, the abused may turn predator in the long run, and when the child grows up, (s)he may end up abusing a child in turn.
The book goes on to cite the opinions of several counsellors, doctors, child psychologists on this matter. The bottom line is: CSA devastates a child and this devastation can manifest itself much later in the life of the victim.
**************** Notebook 3 comes round to providing approaches to prevention of CSA. But not before it touches upon the reasons the abusers have a free run in India: For one, the laws pertaining to CSA in India are grossly inadequate. Only rape (as in, penetration) carries any significant punishment. Secondly, the abusers are probably aware that there are very small chances of the truth coming out into the open. Even if it does, our notion of family pride ensures that everything will be hushed-up and the abuser is free to go find his(/her) next target. The book provides examples where a judge simply refused to believe that a grandfather was abusing his granddaughter. This shows how skewed the upholders of the law are with respect to the issue of CSA. Finally, the abuser is aware that even if a case gets to court, it is an extremely uphill task for the family of the child to prove anything. The child will have to be produced in court and will be cross-examined. It is definitely easy to confuse a child during cross-examination.
Pinki Virani goes on to provide several practical approaches to tackle the menace. These revolve around the idea that if the perpetrators of CSA are brought to book, then it could help partly in discouraging such despicable acts in the future. The approaches include Tougher, and clearer laws dealing with CSA – starting with the proper definition, to increasing the punishment. Child-friendly process to deal with the matter (for example, the child not having to be repeatedly cross-examined and explain the harrowing experience several times, in graphic detail, to complete strangers). Child Protection Units (to counsel the victim of abuse) and Child Protection Courts (to handle all cases where the victim is a child). But above all, Pinki pins the hope on responsible parenting. This includes providing an open atmosphere at home so that the child is not hesitant to speak out is (s)he is abused, being aware of what the child is up to, where (s)he is and such, and most importantly, dealing with disclosure appropriately (without blaming the child for what happened).
I have just summarized some of the points – the author goes into the nitty-gritties of each of these factors.
**************** Yes – "Bitter Chocolate" is hard-hitting. Yes – At times, you'd rather just quit reading the book. Yes – the book will definitely give you several sleepless nights. Yes – at times, the extremely graphic descriptions might be just too much to take.
In spite of all this, I still recommend one and all to read this book. For the simple reason, that unless one reads this book, one will not really grasp the magnitude of the menace. It is human nature that unless something shocks us beyond imagination, we treat it as just one of those things. If I had just read a statement that CSA does take place – I might not have reacted as strongly as I am now doing after reading the book.
"Bitter Chocolate" is a must read.
**************** My Personal Views on the topic:
It is my belief that an adult who sexually abuses a child does not even qualify as a human. CSA is the lowest to which humanity can stoop. Of course it has to stop. But the issue is definitely a complex one. For example, in the case where a person who is supposed to provide for the child (shelter, food) himself resorts to sexually abusing the child, there is no easy solution.
I agree with most of the approaches outlined in The Bitter Chocolate – both for prevention of CSA and to deal with it. However, something does not seem right. Making sure the child is aware is a good thing – but then, at what age does one begin educating the child about CSA? The book highlights a case where a girl was abused even before she uttered her first word! Educating school-going children to be wary of strangers is a good thing – but what good would children be if they are not .. well .. children? I'm not sure if it's a good thing if a child is suspicious of everyone and everything. Early adolescence is an even more difficult time to explain about CSA. There is every possibility that the child loses the distinction between a good touch and a bad touch – thereby treating every touch as a bad one. So, we end up with a case where a child has never been sexually abused, but still tunes out of love and sex completely. Its almost like the child has been frightened into this emotional situation.
I completely agree with the author regarding the urgent need for the law to be reformed to be more child-friendly. Child Protection Units and Child Protection Courts are definitely bound to be effective.
To conclude, I think that it is the responsibility of every citizen to raise our voice against this most heinous of crimes, to work towards its prevention, and to push for reform. Remember, children are our future citizens. What kind of country would it be, where a staggering 40% of the girls and 25% of the boys have, at some point of time in the past, been sexually abused as children?
**************** Juts a footnote – CSA is by no means purely an Indian phenomenon – nor is it restricted only to poor and developing countries. It exists everywhere. USA is struggling to counter child pornography and some other countries like Cambodia are waging a battle against child prostitution (I have written about this at Innocence Snatched). The entire world is violating its children – and the responsible citizens of the world have to come together to eradicate CSA once and for all.
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Other books I have reviewed:
Update (19th March '09): This post is now published at YouthKiAwaaz.
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"It is not about how much you know. It is about how much it matters to those who do not know. And that, quite honestly, is infinite" [~Times Of India, Teach India campaign]
It is this statement which I saw some 6-7 months back in a full-page Ad of the ToI TeachIndia campaign, that spurred me to go and register for the program. A month after I registered, TeachIndia contacted me with a message that I had been placed with the NGO Youth4Seva. I was invited to attend a kind of induction program where all the volunteers who had joined from TeachIndia were given an overview of Youth4Seva and its activities.
The real excitement, and responsibility, came up when I went one Sunday morning to the Deena Seva Sangha in Seshadripuram, to actually start my teaching. I was asked to choose between Spoken English and Maths, the audience being a bunch of 10th Standard children, from a hostel next door to the school where I would be taking the classes. I chose Spoken English.
So it started. I took classes for the 7 boys every Sunday morning from 8 to 9:30 or 10. In the very first class, I realized that I had underestimated the effort it takes to teach! Secondly, I now realized that Maths would have been a better choice – since there's a fixed syllabus which one can teach, and it is easy to measure the children's progress – unlike Spoken English.
But another thought which occurred to me was that I had the opportunity to make a real difference in the children's future. It is my belief that to be competent in today's world, it is a must for a person to have a fair knowledge of the English language – written and spoken. Nothing hi-fi .. only basic communication skills in English. So I now had the opportunity to give these 7 kids a greater chance at being competitive.
I was suggested to look for Prakruthi N Banwasi's books, but I could not find any in the book stores. I settled for another “Spoken English” book. My first day in the class was an experience in itself.
The class started off with introductions all around. The first thing I noticed was the students' enthusiasm to learn. They were all from the disadvantaged sections of society, but that was not at all evident from their smiling faces or their general behaviour. Knowing the local language definitely helped me in bonding with the kids. I soon went beyond the teaching hours and started playing with the kids after class hours.
But, the crux of the matter remained dissatisfactory. The children were very weak in the basics. Some of them had chosen English medium in their school, but even they were very weak as far as their English knowledge goes. I started trying out different things to get them to open up more and converse with each other in English during the class hours. I started getting the sports page of the newspaper to class, to encourage the kids to read about it out and try to interpret the meaning. I asked the students to narrate what they did during the previous week, what movies they watched, what part of the movie they particularly liked, and other such stuff.
Although they gradually became more forthcoming and started using English more often, the improvement was not sufficient. Their board exams were approaching fast, and I was trying to complete my course before that.
It dint work out that way. The pressure started piling up on the students, with special classes in their school. I too had to go out of town and missed a couple of classes. These frequent gaps in the classes hampered the continuity, and hence the progress.
Eventually, I stopped taking classes for the 10th Standard students since their board exams are just round the corner now. I thought I'd switch over to teaching something to other children (the 9th standard students were in need of English and Maths teachers). However, they too have their exams soon. It is too late for me to get started now. Which means currently, I am not doing any teaching at all.
So, should I be disheartened that my contribution to TeachIndia has not amounted to much?
I think not.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I state my belief that change should be at the grassroots level, which inevitably, is a slow process. I was not able to achieve what I set out to this year, but its not the end. I will go back next year and make sure I make a difference in the lives of the next batch of kids. Of course I will be left with a lingering guilt that I have failed the 7 children who are currently in 10th Standard – but on second thoughts, its not really a failure.
At the end of the day, TeachIndia for me has been a very satisfying experience so far. Give back to society brings a satisfaction like nothing else. I need to learn from this year's experience and commit more time next year.
Another thing I need to do is inspire more people to contribute to any such cause which gives hope to the Indian Citizens of Tomorrow. A small, but strong commitment (in my case – 1.5 hours per week for 12 weeks) is all you need to make to change lives for the better, forever. It need not be teaching (since that might require you to know the local language) – it could be anything – monetary, spreading awareness of issues (like hygiene), street plays, spreading the word and encouraging peers to join this cause, photography, blogging, web page design – anything you can think of. I urge you, my reader, to involve in any such activity which you think you can contribute in.
Hope being the foundation of this blog, I end this post Hoping for a better future for the Future Citizens of India. JAI BHARAT.
This is the story of 3 neighbours – the P's, the I's and the S's. The kids from the S family had gone to the Ps' residence to play with the kids from P family, when somebody attacked the S kids.
2 of the younger P kids discussed this incident with their father:
P Kid1: Papa, papa, who attacked the S children in our compound?
P Dad: Our neighbour, the I's did it Beta.
P Kid2: But why would they do such a thing Papa?
P Dad: To get even with us Beta.
P Kid1: I don't understand Papa.
P Dad: Do you remember a few months back somebody attacked the I's Beta? Many members of their family were victims of the attack. Even some of their guests were not spared.
P Kid2: Yes Papa, I remember.
P Dad: At that time, the I's blamed us Beta. They alleged that someone from our house had done it. Kisi aur ghar ki taraf nahin; ISI ghar ki taraf they have pointed fingers Beta.
P Kid1: But that is true Papa. Our eldest brother (your spoilt kid) had attacked them Papa.
P Dad: Sssh.. Don't utter such nonsense Beta. The I's simply wanted to rake up our old khaandaani dushmani – that's the reason they blamed us. And that is also the reason they attacked your friends – the Ss' children, when they were playing in our house. Certain intelligent people from the I family have given us a RAW deal Beta.
P Kid2: That is not true Papa. For one, there is no proof that anybody from the I family was involved in this attack. Secondly, there is ample proof to confirm that our eldest brother (your spoilt kid) attacked the I's a few months back. For all we know, he might have been involved in this attack on our friends from the S family too. We feel you are the one who's trying to get even Papa. You are simply blaming the I's for this attack.
P Dad: You children should not be speaking this way, Beta. Don't you know you should toe the line of the big boss of the house?
P Kid1: We are only being logical Papa. If you continue blaming others instead of controlling our eldest brother (your spoilt kid) then nobody will ever want to come to our house – whether to play or for anything else. Everybody will stop talking to us wherever we go. We will be isolated in every way. Why don't you try to control our eldest brother (your spoilt kid) instead, Papa?
P Dad: Shut up and get out of my sight Beta.
I think the P Kids made far more sense than their Dad. It makes me sad to see people blame the P family in general for anything and everything negative that's happening in their colony. I know for a fact that most of the members of the P family are against all this nonsense. Its only their eldest spoilt kid who's creating trouble. What bothers me though, is why is Mr. P, the dad, not doing anything about it?
Mr. Professional (Mr.Pr) is in the news again. He called me up to tell me that he had bribed a traffic policeman last week. Here's the story:
Mr.Pr is driving to work one fine Monday morning. He reaches a T-junction where he has to take a right turn. He is at 40+ kmph when the signal turns amber. Mr.Pr does not want to suddenly brake – so he slows down, but continues taking the turn. At that moment, the signal turns red. Mr.Pr has just completed the 90-degree turn when he sees a cop waving to him to stop. Mr.Pr obliges. He gets out of the car to speak to the cop. The cop, who is about the same age as Mr.Pr's father, is not very rude or gruff. He's smiling and polite, but strict. Mr.Pr knows he is in the wrong – so he agrees to pay the fine. The cop radios the “inspector” and informs him of his catch. Apparently, they are in for a 10-minute wait since the inspector has to come from god-knows-where. The cop tries to bluff saying that Mr. Pr will have to cough up a fine of Rs.300 and his dad (since the car is registered in the dad's name), will have to pay Rs. 500. Mr.Pr informs the cop that he is aware of the rules and that there is only one fine – Rs. 300. The cop realizes that he is dealing with a well-informed citizen and drops the lies. He tries to strike a deal - “You pay me Rs. 150 and I'll let you off”. Mr.Pr denies – saying he'll pay the stipulated fine and insists for the receipt. After 10 minutes, the cop starts playing games. He says that the “inspector” is dealing with other offenders and he'll take at least half an hour to arrive. Mr.Pr sees through this blatant lie – but he is getting late for office. There's nothing he can do. So he reluctantly hands over 2 hundred-rupee notes to the cop. The cop does not even return the “change”!
Well, it seemed like an open-and-shut case to me. Hundreds of such incidents occur on the roads of Bangalore every day. But I could sense the Mr.Pr was not happy about the incident and I was at a loss to come up with a reason for this. The conversation that ensued was something like this:
Me: Spill it out pal – what's playing on your mind? Mr.Pr: I almost never break the rules – you know it. Even when people all around me are jumping red signals (often because there are no vehicles on the intersecting road) – I still stick to my guns. The only time I do break the rules is when someone waiting behind me bullies me (normally the cabbies who honk the life out of me). Me: Agreed – but on this occasion, you did break the law – so you did deserve to be punished. Mr.Pr: Yes – I am not debating that. What I am disappointed about is – why is it that only people who largely follow the rules (the operative word being “largely”) end up paying fines; and people who largely show scant respect for road rules (again – the operative word being “largely”) are let away?
How come those rowdy bikers who perform wheelies on public roads don't even feel afraid when doing so? Are they smug in the feeling that they have nothing to fear as far as the traffic police are concerned? Why is it that autorickshaw drivers who drive at night without headlights (or any other lights for that matter) never come to the notice of cops? Why is it that motorists who line up at signals in the wrong lane, on the other side of the road median never end up paying the fine? (case in point – Shivananda signal where this is the norm – even when a cop is manning the junction) How come it never occurs to the cops to demand Pollution-Under-Control certificates from vehicles which spew out kilotons of exhaust? How come drivers who speak on their mobile phones while driving go undetected by the cops? How come those drivers who routinely flout one-ways, “no-free-left”s and even dangerously jump red lights never end up being issued a fine? Most importantly, why is it that the cop did not have the receipts with him when he had caught me? He has no right to hold me there for half an hour, does he?
I stopped Mr.Pr because I knew that he was full of many more examples – and that what he had just poured out was just the tip of the iceberg. I firmly reprimanded him saying that all these points were irrelevant. He had broken the law and had paid for it. Full Stop.
But looking back at the conversation, I found myself nodding my head for each and every point he had made. I have asked these questions myself several times. I shudder to imagine where we are headed as far as road sense is concerned.
I end this post by hoping that each and every one of us wake up to our responsibilities during driving. If the traffic police cannot contain the terror on the roads, let us, the citizens take the initiative to do so. Looking forward to a more road-disciplined India. JAI BHARAT.
Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. All the views and opinions expressed on this blog are entirely my own and do not reflect the views of my employer, organization, relatives, friends, acquaintances or any other person/entity.
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