These days, wherever I turn, I simply cannot avoid getting pulled into an “outsider vs local” debate. Among friends, colleagues, in the newspapers, on the interweb – I invariably run into a discussion on how “outsiders” are “spoiling” a certain city or how the “locals” of that city are hostile to the outsiders (be it Mumbai, Bangalore or Chennai). This post is my take on the entire debate.
The opinions detailed in this post are based on my own experience: I have never stayed in my hometown; and until my late teens I had never even stayed in the state where I hail from. However, since I had been for 7+ years each in two other states, I had started treating those two states as my home.
I have also travelled a bit – ranging from a week in Bangkok to 4 months in Gurgaon to 7 months in Kuala Lumpur.
I think that how welcome you make yourself feel in an away place depends, to a large extent, on your own self. There are really only 2 simple rules to follow to make sure that your relationship with the locals in a strange land is pleasant:
- Respect the local culture
- Do not do anything which makes the locals feel threatened.
Intra-national and inter-national
We Indians take German language learning classes before taking up a job in Germany. We train ourselves to speak in French and learn French etiquette before embarking to Paris on an assignment. But the same “we” expect everyone in India to somehow know our culture, our food habits, our language. Why so? It is important to appreciate the fact that although the whole of India is your country, and it is your right to stay anywhere you want in the country, there are massive differences in “way of life” across India. For instance,
- A well-dressed professional from Mumbai, who is used to travelling in overcrowded trains, is likely to wonder what the fuss is all about when he comes to Bangalore and hears people say they travel by car because buses are crowded.
- If a resident of, say, Kerala travels to Mizoram, he is sure to be bewildered by the early rising and setting of the sun there.
- A Bangalorean, accustomed to the ubiquitous autorickshaw, would be in for a struggle to find public transport if he travels to some of the “interior” sectors of Noida or Gurgaon.
- Majority of urban Indians, always cribbing about parking space, would re-think their complaint if they ever visit Shimla and notice the precarious parking positions there.
- Most Indians would have no idea about factoring in snowfall and landslides into their day-to-day plans and would have a hard time if posted in J&K or Sikkim.
Bottom line: it is as important to understand the background of the place you are visiting within India, as it is if the place is a foreign land.
Respect for the local culture
I personally know several people who consider learning another's culture as a disrespect to their own. In my opinion this is completely unacceptable. Wherever I go, I make an attempt to learn some speciality of the local way of life. Remember, it is NOT necessary for you to “become one of them” . All you need to do is show some genuine interest in the local way of life.
When I was in Kuala Lumpur, I made it a point to wish my Malaysian friends on local festivals and national holidays. In fact, I even wished the taxi drivers on the bigger occasions like Merdeka (Independence Day).
As another example, the average Thai is extremely polite – this goes right from a sweeper in the hotel to the big-shot executive. But, at a restaurant in Bangkok, I saw a group of desis snap at the waitress for some reason, demanding a replacement for one of their dishes. Such kind of behaviour is not going to earn them any brownie points. If you are unhappy with the service offered, the way you express it in Bangkok is different from the way you would in Delhi.
A final illustration of this point – driving in Europe. The European motorist is very courteous – especially to pedestrians. If you don't want to be a black sheep in Europe, you better adapt your driving style by keeping your hands miles away from the horn; and adjusting to the pedestrian-is-first convention.
Be Non-threatening to the locals
Different cultures are strongly protective of different aspects of their ways of life. For The Vatican, Bhutan and several Muslim nations, religion comes first. In France, Japan or Tamil Nadu, language is foremost. In several far eastern cultures, business and work take precedence over everything else. It is advantageous to know what the people of the place you are visiting are particular about – and make sure you do not offend that aspect of their culture. This, by no stretch of the imagination, means that you MUST be fluent in the local language or that you embrace the local religion. All it means is that your actions and the way you conduct yourself should not make the locals feel threatened regarding their precious way of life.
This particular point requires more thought since it involves not only individual behavior but group dynamics as well.
- As a bonafide Goan, I like individual “foreigners” who tour Goa every year – but I detest them collectively since they descend in hordes and spoil the beauty of the state, are responsible for obscene price spikes during the tourist season; and in the recent past, are projecting the state into the limelight for all the wrong reasons. There have been reports of foreigners being involved in the land mafia in the state and I feel threatened that Goa might be taken over by them. The individual tourist does not look at it all from my angle and is hence sure to be put off by my hostility towards them (real or perceived).
- What is the percentage of Kannada speakers in Bangalore? That of local ethnic Tibetans in Lhasa, especially since the opening of the trans-Tibetan railway?Are the locals justified in feeling threatened that they might be reduced to a minority in their own homeland?
- I had once shared a taxi in Kuala Lumpur with another Indian. There was some light local music playing on the radio. My fellow passenger said in a rude way that he was getting a headache and he asked the driver to switch off the radio. So, is the taxi driver justified in feeling threatened by all Indians?
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I have always tried to stick to these basic rules of thumb and I find that not only do I get to learn a new culture, the hosts give me my space too. It makes my stay in a place away from home that much more pleasant. And, the best part – there's nothing at all that I lose. If anything, I gain in the bargain.
~Diversity makes the Earth beautiful. Savoring it makes life beautiful~
