Animals, Flop-Dancers and Others Should Get Reservations Too!

An Indian MP, one Mr Yarad Shaadav, recently caused furore by threatening to consume poison if a bill which proposes to set aside 33% reservation for women is passed. This was just the beginning. Mr. Shaadav set the stage for a series of threats, counter-threats, demands and counter-demands. In this exclusive report, we present some samples from this tug-of-war being played out in the Parliament for the past few days.

Mrs. Mane Aka Gandhi has demanded that 33% of the seats (i.e, 181 seats) be reserved for animals. Nothing surprising for those who know her. What is surprising though, is that out of these 181 seats, Mrs. Gandhi has asked for a huge chunk – 100 seats – for lions alone. This has made experts wonder why the lady has not demanded more reservation for lionesses, not to mention other animal species. This reporter suspects it might be because of the Mane in her Name). Mrs. Gandhi has threatened that she will let lions loose in the parliament if her demands are not met.

Star Indian cricketer, Har-dozen Singh has partly supported Mrs. Gandhi and requested her to include a clause that sets aside 10 seats for monkeys. Mr. Singh has also dropped a hint that failure to comply may mean that he will slap the Speaker of the House.

Another Indian cricketer – medium-pace dancer and (make-or-)break bowler Mr. Pappu-Kentdans-Ala (also known as Free-Santh)- has demanded 12% reservation for those backward sections of Indians who cannot dance, failing which, he reportedly plans to torture the entire House by shaking a leg near the well at Parliament House. Upon being asked how he arrived at the number 12, he responded that 12 is the average number of balls he bowls per over – hence the figure.

Noted actor Emraan Kissme, meanwhile, has started a campaign to highlight the plight of bad serial kissers in the country, and is reported to be meeting the President today with a representation requesting 1% reservation for serial kissers. Mr. Kissme has issued the most serious threat so far – he claims he will kiss every female MP for two full minutes if his demand is not met. If this act does not yield any results, he says he will start kissing the male MP's - in the ascending order of their age; and he will continue until his demand is accepted.

The Commissioner of Police of Bangalore, Mr. Pandu Havaldar, has jumped on to the bandwagon, and is lobbying for a 5% reservation for corrupt policemen in the Parliament. This in turn, has prompted citizen groups and MP's alike to question the motive of such a move as there is already a 100% reservation for corrupt people in the Lok Sabha. Mr. Havaldar also blackmailed the public by declaring that until his demands are met, the Bangalore Police will not maintain law and order in the city. This statement has confused the media and citizen forums. Questions like “Whats new in that?”, “How is that a threat?”, “Isn't that the state of Bangalore for the past decade any way?” resonated across newspapers and blogs alike.

This correspondent will continue to bring such juicy inside details for our esteemed readers as the women's reservation bill debate continues and the noises build up into a cacophony. Stay tuned .. er .. feedburner-fed.

6 comments to Animals, Flop-Dancers and Others Should Get Reservations Too!

  • Kiran,well said.I can not say about others,but Maneka Gandhi may even take legal course to get her point across.As for Sharad Yadav,actually he should be allowed to try his stunt once.

  • Hilarious.....! really cool names.

    I was wondering what are we IT peoples doing here.. we should also ask for a good percentage of reservation.. after all we are among the highest tax payers in the country.

  • Ya, i agree with BK Chowla. For once we should allow Sharad Yadav to try out his stunt and in fact we should contribute to buy him the best and unadulterated form of poison of his choice.

    That's the least we can do for him.

  • I agree with PC. I wonder what the IT employees would demand for ;-)?

  • i know nothing of current affairs! but this post is so funny ! i really hope this is an exagerated insult of the ploitical scenario in our country and they are doing nothing close to the drama that u've detailed so humorously!

  • @BK Chowla: :) - Why don't we all start a petition to "help" the gentleman carry out his threat :D

    @PC, Di: You never know, some IT guy might already have made some demand .. this correspondent cannot disclose it right now (code of conduct - assuming they have one!). So stay tuned .. you never know what you might uncover in the next post in this series ;)

    @Philip: Welcome to the Horizons! And yes - I agree with your idea. After all, it is the duty of the citizens to stand by their leaders is it not? As I said, we could start an online petition ;)

    @Pavi: What was mentioned in the very first sentence of this post is true - although I transposed the first characters of the guy's first name and last name. The rest of it - well .. its just tamasha :D

Disclaimer: This is my personal blog. All the views and opinions expressed on this blog are entirely my own and do not reflect the views of my employer, organization, relatives, friends, acquaintances or any other person/entity.